Week 2 is here, which means I’m going to do that thing every other football blog on the internet does every Sunday and tell all YOU lucky people out there who I think are going to come away winners on NFL Sunday as I nurse this hangover with greasy bagels and coffee.

THE EARLY GAMES

Browns at Ravens (Ravens -7.5, 38.5)
The Browns dropped a close game to Pittsburgh last week. DeShone Kizer played good enough by Browns standards (all he had to do was show up and he was better than most of the guys who have played QB for them in the last decade honestly), but they just couldn’t close the deal. Kizer and Co. head to Baltimore and face a formidable pass rush and defense that I assume will give Kizer some trouble.
Droop’s pick: Ravens

Bills at Panthers (Panthers -6.5, 43)
If you had Buffalo being alone in first place in the AFC East after Week 1, please come to the front desk to claim your prize.
…Well?
……..Anybody? Okay then.
The Bills got a freebie over the (tanking) Jets in Week 1. Carolina will prove to be too much for the first place Bills (typing that doesn’t even feel right).
Droop’s pick: Panthers

Cardinals at Colts (Cardinals +7, 44)
The Colts plan to start newly acquired Jacoby Brissett today, who came over in a trade from the Patriots for Phillip Dorsett. This bodes well for the Colts, since a kitchen table would be a better option at quarterback than Scott Tolzien. Kerwynn Williams (who?) will start at running back for the Cardinals as David Johnson recovers from wrist surgery. Brissett impressed in the preseason but the Cardinals defense is a cut above the 3rd string Giants DB’s he carved up in week 4 of the preseason.
Droop’s pick: Cardinals

Titans at Jaguars (Titans +1, 41.5)
The good: The Jaguars have a winning record for the first time since September 2011.
The bad: Allen Robinson is out
Good Blake Bortles needs to show up today if Jacksonville is going to hold off the Titans. Leonard Fournette can help his quarterback out by having a similar performance to his game against the Texans last week (26 carries, 100 yards and a TD).
Droop’s pick: Jaguars

Eagles at Chiefs (Chiefs -5, 47)
Knocking off the Chiefs at home after their stunning upset of the Patriots on opening night will be a tall order for the Birds. Andy Reid’s defense will try to compensate for the injury to Eric Berry, who has been lost for the year due to an Achilles injury. I’ve looked on the internet and it seems no one has any idea who will replace the injured Ronald Darby in the secondary for Philadelphia. I expect the Chiefs offense to challenge Philly’s secondary and come out on top.
Droop’s pick: Chiefs

Patriots at Saints (Patriots +6, 57)
It’s safe to say this was not a fun week of practice for the Patriots, who probably bore witness to animal sacrifices and other weird shit as punishment for giving up 42 points on opening night. Both defenses stink. Belichick is pissed. Tom Brady is pissed. Pats by a trillion.
Droop’s pick: Patriots

Vikings at Steelers (Steelers -6.5, 44.5)
Sam Bradford had one of the best games of his career last week against the Saints.
Sam Bradford will also not play today with a sore knee.
Missing a game with an injury after playing one of his best games ever is peak Sam Bradford.
CASE KEENUM gets the start for the Vikings. ELECTRIC! Hope Vikings fans have liquor handy.
Droop’s pick: Steelers

Bears at Buccaneers (Bucs -6.5, 43.5)
Chicago only giving up 23 points to the Falcons last week was a fluke. DeSean Jackson and Mike Evans on the field at the same time? Good luck. Crab legs are on the menu tonight, folks.
Droop’s pick: Bucs